The ability to read body language is an important skill to develop because the reality is that most people are hesitant to express their true feelings and many people just out-and-out lie. However, by observing the nonverbal cues a person transmits through body gestures, you can usually make an accurate assessment of that person’s opinions and truthfulness.
The Psychology of Understanding Body Language
According to Sharon Brehm, Saul Kassin, and Steven Fein, coauthors of Social Psychology (2002), body language basically refers to the ways in which people sit, walk, stand, and express themselves through various gestures. For example, think about some of the hand gestures Americans use to express their feelings:
- They raise two fingers in a “V” for victory or, as per the 60’s Revolution, for “Peace.”
- They give a thumbs-up for success.
- They form an “O” with their thumb and forefinger to indicate that something is okay.
- They raise a clenched fist for defiance.
- They extend a middle finger, otherwise known as “flipping the bird,” to indicate extreme displeasure, dislike, or rebellion.
That said, however, there are myriad other gestures all people, not merely Americans, use when communicating with one another, gestures that are sometimes subtle and usually unintentional, and these body gestures are far more accurate indicators of someone’s true feelings and character than a raised fist, thumbs-up, or extended middle finger.
The Way People Walk Speaks Volumes
Pay attention to how people walk, since doing so can provide you with insight into their state of mind and their level of confidence, but also pay attention to your own walk because other people might be evaluating you as well. Brehm, Kassin, and Fein say the following assessments are often made based upon how people walk:
- Those who sway their hips, bend their needs, lift their feet, and swing their arms are seen as self-confident and impress other people as being happier, as well as more youthful, more powerful, and more successful.
- Those who walk slowly, take shorter steps, and drag their feet are seen as lacking self-confidence and impress other people as being unhappy, older, and unsuccessful. (Brehm, et al, 2002)
Reading and Interpreting Body Language Signals
In You Can Read Anyone: Never Be Fooled, Lied to, or Taken Advantage of Again (2007), Dr. David Lieberman presents certain signals that are indicative or what people are thinking and feeling; however, as Lieberman warns, “It is important to remember that all signs must be examined within the context of the situation, and we should avoid a definitive conclusion based upon isolated signals” (p. 35). Some of the signals the authors present include these:
- A person who is wrongly accused will usually become offensive while someone who is guilty will become defensive.
- When people are confident and truly believe in what they are saying, they are more apt to use first-person pronouns, for example, “I,” “we,” and “us.”
- When people are nervous, their “blink rate” tends to increase.
- When people are stressed, they have difficulty swallowing, and their voice become higher.
- If people are lying in a serious situation, they tend to make superfluous gestures, for example, yawning, slouching, stretching, in order to demonstrate a level of comfort they don’t really feel.
- If people smile, however faintly, when apologizing, they are not really sorry at all.
- Although people might try to feign disinterest in something, if they keep their attention focused on it, for instance, something you have to sell, they are actually quite interested.
- When people continually shift in their seats, they are either in a poor mood or lacking self-confidence.
- People tend to stand closer to individuals in whom they are genuinely interested and whom they really like.
Everyday Gestures and What They Mean in Body Language
Gerard Nierenberg and Henry Calero, coauthors of How to Read a Person Like a Book (1993), agree with Lieberman that one should never jump to conclusions “based on the observation and comprehension of isolated gestures” because gestures must be analyzed in harmony with other gestures (p.8). However, there are common gestures that are usually, if not always, indicative of certain things:
- Open hands: sincerity
- Shrugging: uncertainty or indecisiveness
- Crossed arms: defensiveness
- Crossing legs toward a person: fondness or interest
- Crossing legs away from a person: disinterest or dislike
- Legs crossed and kicking slightly with one foot: boredom or aggravation
- Hand placed on cheek with index finger extended: interest or evaluation
- Stroking the chin: conclusion or decision
- Touching or lightly rubbing the nose, eye, or beside the ear: doubt or rejection (Of course, a person can have an itchy nose, but if someone’s nose itches, he tends to scratch it vigorously not lightly.)
- Hands on hips or sitting on the edge of a chair: readiness or eagerness
- Tilted head: interest
- Hands tightly clinched, as thumbs are rubbed together: need of reassurance
- Hand to back of neck: defensiveness
- Steepled fingers: confidence, smugness, egotism, pride
- Both hands behind head while leaning back in a seat: aggressiveness and/or superiority
In conclusion, there are of course numerous other bodily gestures that people use on a regular basis, as well as facial expressions, but just knowing the signals presented in this article can give you a decided edge when it comes to discerning someone’s true feelings and state of mind, as well as knowing whether or not someone is being totally honest with you or lying through his teeth.
Sources:
Brehm, S., Kassin, S. & Fein, S. (2002) Social Psychology: Fifth Edition; New York: Houghton Mifflin Company
Lieberman, D. J. (2007) You Can Read Anyone: Never Be Fooled, Lied to, or Taken Advantage of Again; New York: MJF Books
Nierenberg, I. N. & Calero, H. H. (1993) How to Read a Person like a Book; New York: Fall River Press
Carol Rzadkiewicz - Carol Rzadkiewicz has taught college English for over 14 years and is the author of three published novels and numerous short stories.
