How do you form impressions of people? For instance, recall the last time you attended a party where you knew perhaps only a few people. Granted, you probably talked with the other guests, but did you form impressions of them based solely upon what was said? No, you formed impressions based upon other factors, didn’t you? And those factors were all nonverbal cues that you observed and then interpreted, some probably correctly, others incorrectly.
To improve your communication skills, you should understand that communication involves not only what is being said but nonverbal cues as well. According to Rudolph Verderber, author of The Challenge of Effective Speaking (2000), when you talk with another person, deliver a speech, or make a presentation, the message you are conveying is transmitted as much through your nonverbal cues as through your choice of words. Moreover, your use of nonverbal cues will ultimately determine whether or not you make a favorable impression and whether or not your speech or presentation is successful.
Kinesics: The Study of Body Language
Kinesics is the study of how people use their bodies to communicate, in other words, nonverbal communication. Stephen E. Lucas, author of The Art of Public Speaking, relates that one of the founders of this area of study, “Ray Birdwhistell, estimates that more than 700,000 possible physical signals can be sent through bodily movement” (p. 304). What’s more, Lucas says that, interestingly, research has shown that if a person’s body language is inconsistent with the message he or she is conveying orally, listeners tend to believe the person’s body language, not his or her words.
The Four Main Elements of Nonverbal Communication
Nonverbal communication, according to Lucas, is communication that occurs without your saying a word and includes four nonlinguistic factors:
- Appearance, including posture
- Body Gestures
- Eye Contact
- Facial Expressions
In order to develop good communication skills, your first step should be to master the use of nonverbal cues, by learning to use appearance, gestures, eye contact, and facial expressions to your advantage.
Good Communication and the Importance of Appearance
When we first meet someone, our first impression is formed based upon that person’s appearance, so, remember, appearances do count. How you look, which includes your clothing and grooming, as well as makeup if you’re a woman, transmits a message, either favorable or unfavorable, to other people. Therefore, keep these guidelines in mind:
- Dress neatly and appropriately for any occasion
- Be well groomed (hair combed, nails clean and trimmed, etc.)
- Stand up straight and tall
- When seated, don’t slouch in the seat.
Effective Body Language and the Use of Gestures
There’s nothing wrong with using your hands when you speak, whether you’re speaking casually to friends or acquaintances or formally before an audience or at a job interview, but don’t overdo it. As Lucas says, “Gestures should be natural and spontaneous, used to clarify or reinforce ideas, and suited to the audience and the occasion” (p. 306). Whatever you do, though, avoid gestures like hand-wringing, knuckle-cracking, flailing your hands about like a bird about to take flight, or toying with your hair, rings, earlobes, etc. (Lucas).
Using Eye Contact to Make the Right Impression
You’ve heard the old saying: The eyes are the windows of the soul. We make many judgments based upon people’s eyes; for example, we assess their honesty, intelligence, sincerity, attitude, and feelings, etc. That’s why, as Lucas says, “One of the quickest ways to establish a communication bond with your listeners is to look at them personally and pleasantly” (p. 307); and one the surest ways to lose their interest, make them doubt your sincerity, or cause them to question your motives is by avoiding making eye contact.
Then again, it’s also important to remember that you should never stare at people for too long since “a blank stare is almost as bad as no eye contact at all,” according to Lucas (p. 308).
Good Communication Skills and Facial Expressions
People smile, frown, and pout. They also purse their lips, tilt their heads, raise their eyebrows, etc. And these facial expressions convey messages just as surely as any spoken words, and sometimes far more accurately. For example, they tell others whether or not you are really listening, being genuinely sympathetic, or telling the truth. That’s why, in order to improve your communication skills, you need to pay attention to what you are conveying through your facial expressions. Granted, in the beginning you will have to make a conscious effort to ensure that your expressions match what you are attempting to convey, but with practice you will master this skill and, in so doing, become a far better communicator.
In conclusion, by learning to use body language effectively, you can improve your communication skills, and good communication skills will benefit you greatly in all areas of your life, not only personally but also professionally.
Sources:
Lucas, S. E. (1998) The Art of Public Speaking, Boston, MA: McGraw-Hill
Verderber, R. (200) The Challenge of Effective Speaking, Belmont, CA: Wadsworth/Thompson Learning
Carol Rzadkiewicz - Carol Rzadkiewicz has taught college English for over 14 years and is the author of three published novels and numerous short stories.
